Today I'm grateful for the friends and family that I have in my life.
Sometimes friends and family aren’t the same thing and that’s okay. When you come from a background of dysfunction and addiction, it can be especially difficult to see friends and family in the same light.
With the end of the year coming and most families coming together for all kinds of reasons, it can be especially difficult if your family don’t fall into the ‘friends’ basket of your life.
There was a time in early recovery when I had to distance myself from my family. At the time it didn’t feel okay, but it was something that I had to do to give myself a chance.
Sometimes you have to be selfish.
If that’s you now, don’t beat yourself up.
Give yourself a chance to enjoy time with like-minded people who ‘get’ you. If that means spending time with 12-step friends in recovery, or spending time with people at your church or in the new community that you’ve created for yourself--then do it!
As I settled into my recovery long term, I began to discover new coping mechanisms for dealing with my family. I came to see them in a whole new light. My old brain matter had been somewhat addled from years of abuse and, once I had some time away from alcohol and I’d done some healing work on my emotional issues, I was blessed to come to see that my family are precious and wonderful, in their own quirky ways.
Now, I love spending time with them and consider them all great friends.
When I first got sober, I wanted everything in the first five minutes.
That’s not how life works.
Unfortunately, I needed to do a considerable amount of work on healing me.
Today, I’m so glad that I’ve done that work, because now I get to reap the benefits of being surrounded by the beautiful people in my life.
Yours in love & gratitude,
Toni xxx